Returning to Costa Rica on 15 January was a Pandora box of emotions. I was excited to return home and see my friends and mostly see my girls. Yet my heart was breaking and runny mascara was my new look. I raged war to keep my anger with God at bay. I knew this was of Him but I did not want to accept that it. My Pandora box remained safe in God’s hands as He carried me through the week.
The couple house sitting for me had made a few welcome home signs for me. I smiled when I saw the picture of Jasper, my cat, and under it was written “Is. 41:10”. (I’m including verse 9 as well.)
“9 I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, ‘You are my servant’; I have chosen you and have not rejected you. 10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
They did not know that this is one of my life verses, that God spoke to me in the 10th grade, and has continued to use it at key times in my life. I felt loved by God.
The next day, I went to work, loved on my girls and said good-bye. When I walked into my kitchen and saw that same sign again, I was brought to tears. This time, tears of how awesome our God is; how much He loves me; how He is in this.
Flashback, August 2008, it was my first week living in Costa Rica and I was ready to move back home, the states. I must have heard God wrong. I was not cut out for this. I took a wrong turn to another country. I sat down at my desk, staring out at this new scenery that demanded my attention, the mountains. I randomly opened my Bible, laid my head in my hands, and I looked down with an unexpected sigh. The words leapt into my soul, it was Isaiah 41:9-10. My God was saying, yes. He was saying I’m right where He wants me; He is with me; He has not forgotten me.
January 2012, standing in the kitchen, I was overwhelmed. My God was saying, yes. He was saying I’m right where He wants me; He is with me; He has not forgotten me. I couldn’t have imagined a more perfect closure. But He didn’t stop there.
God also uses rainbows in a very personal and loving way with me. I could spend countless of hours sharing ways He has used them. 21 August 2008 was one of those times. I’m in the window seat, flying to a country I have never seen. When I realized we were flying over Costa Rica, panic overtook me. Did I hear God right? Am I stupid? Did I just make the biggest mis-hearing mistake? What in the world have I done?
At that time I looked down and saw what I thought was just a reflection in the plane window. I looked again and my soul let out a huge sigh of relief, I was flying over, yes over a rainbow! Oh isn’t He good!
I kind of joked with God, asking Him for my rainbow when I went to work to say goodbye; after all there was a midst and the sun was shinning. I didn’t see it and I was okay with that. The following day, my best Costa Rican friend, Kim, and I were walking home from doing errands. I looked to cross the street and was stopped in mid-sentence and mid-street. (Thankfully no cars were coming.) There it was! MY rainbow! I actually yelled at Kim “Mi arco iris!!” (My rainbow.) It was magnificent, brilliant, huge! It was mine! My God, how He loves me. How He loves us!
Then to top it all off, God decided to show off a little more. I always wait to be one of the last to board the plane since I don’t want to sit forever. I was the second to last to board my flight from Costa Rica to Guatemala. Let’s just say I should have gone first, I was sitting in first class! I never have sat in first class. The check-in desk had asked if I wanted a window or an aisle seat; I always choose window and there was my window seat, first class. I just laughed.
The guy I was talking to behind me while boarding saw me at the baggage claim and said, “well, it looks like God was with you.” I just laughed and agreed. “Yes. Yes He is.”
