To God Be the Glory

Really? God really wants to do amazing things through me? Me of all people? Really? Has He not seen me over the past several weeks? Months? Years? Has He not heard me complain out of frustration and my thoughts of injustice? Has He not seen me curled up in my bed avoiding Him because of heartache and depression? Has He not watched me try to numb my mind on aimless TV or time on the computer? Me? Really?

What an amazing God, who has seen me in my utter weakness yet chooses to use me. I’ll be honest; the last two and half weeks have been so hard. I feel like I am walking a tightrope that’s about to give at any moment and I’m not sure how I would survive the fall. Yet God, in His faithful love, has been supporting me and inviting me into His Word and has been sustaining me by those Words.

I am so thankful that God has placed some amazing friends in my life with whom I can be the authentic me. I am thankful for friends who will give me a good swift kick and speak truth to me. I am thankful for friends who have given me Scripture that speaks into the exact fears and emotions and hurts I am struggling with. I am thankful that I can run to God’s Word, wait on Him and thus be strengthened even more than what is humanly possible. Isaiah 40:31, “But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.”

So last night I went to bed refreshed and I woke up refreshed, ready for today. I didn’t know what God had in store for me but I was excited since the team from Kentucky was back visiting us and I was going to start individuals today. Wow, how blown away I am of how God can and does use us in our utter weakness.

Today, I had four individuals in which all of them we discussed their doubts of their salvation, so all four sessions looked a lot alike. But during the first session with Maria Fernanda, as we were discussing our sins and Christ’s forgiveness of our sins, the gravity of what God has called to me began to sink in. (I wrote in an earlier post about how I’m beginning to see the weightiness of what God has called me to.) But today I saw the gravity of it. I am in a hand-to-hand, life and death battle with Satan for the eternal lives of these girls. Thank God that He is fighting for me and with me. I was overwhelmed as I was talking to her. No wonder Satan is trying to stack the cards against me. He forgets though, that the One who overcame death itself is on my side and I live in the victory of that!

So I ragged war with Satan today not only for myself, as I have been doing, but for the eternal lives of these girls. I am excited to say that the three who doubted their salvation found security that they were saved and we discussed their need to speak the Truth daily into their lives. I am even more excited to share about Ana Cristina, who six months ago, did not know if she believed there was a God. Today she wanted to and accepted Jesus Christ as her personal Savior! How exciting! Please continue to pray for these girls as they find security in the salvation that only comes through Christ. Pray for the battle that we are engaged in for the lives of these girls.

Again, I shake my head in disbelief that He would use me even in my utter weakness. I have found new strength for the moment and for the day that only comes through waiting on the Lord. The exciting thing is that this new strength is superhuman strength. Only God can do that! The only way to describe today is…to God be the glory and His faithful love endures forever!