Yes, I am a missionary but that doesn’t mean I’m any different than any other Christ-follower. I struggle with sin just as everyone else does. I have times when I’m close to God and times that I can so quickly put up a wall between Him and me before I even know what I’m doing. I have come to find out that I’m really good at putting up walls and it’s a defense mechanism, doesn’t make it alright to do though.
Unfortunately, I have found myself in a several week pattern of a wall up between me and God over some hard things I’m avoiding to work on with Him, because they are ugly and painful. Yet, I find His amazing grace so merciful and redemptive. In the midst of my avoidance, God still calls my name and He even still uses me. (I would have just thrown me out a long time ago!)
Today was one of those days I saw that merciful and redemptive grace in action. After lunch, one of my girls finally got the nerves up to talk to me (she’s been trying for 2 weeks now). Through her tears she told me of her struggles with an idol that has taken over her mind. (Just so happens that this struggle has to be the very one I’m dealing with.) She is broken and wants change but doesn’t know how to get her mind off of it. We talked a little while about it and she gave me her folder for me to read her homework.
I was amazed at the honesty in her homework and the sincere cry of her heart. I might as well been reading my own journal. It was awesome, how God flooded me with verse after verse for her, and can I say for myself. I sat there in awe just marvelling over the greatest of our God and His grace. It has given me that hope again to keep moving forward. I pray, too, that this is the hope she needs and that God does amazing work in this young girl’s life.
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