"The devil is god"

What? How can I write something like that? Last week this is what one of my girls told me. After lunch we talked because she wants to get out of the pacts she has made with the devil. She has spent a lot of time in the satanic church, black magic, sacrifices etc. She has given her soul, her blood, her life, her mind to satan for in return for things to happen, get more drugs, have something bad happen to an enemy and so on. She feels that these pacts cause her a lot of anxiety and leads her to cutting herself.

The problem is that she wants nothing to do with God. She doesn’t believe that He exist. In fact, she believes that satan is god and he created everything and has all the power while God is someone that people made up to feel better. Every time she asks me something about God or the Bible and after my response she will immediately and defiantly say "that’s not true."

Yesterday, she and I talked about the hierarchy of God, satan, angels and demons. As expected she refused to hear it. She has so many conflicting statements. “I want out of the pacts because it leads me to cutting myself, anxiety and it causes pain.” Then just a few minutes later she is talking about how she wants to go to hell because it’s a good place, "there’s suffering and pain, it’s satisfying, feels good and fulfills me." Wow.

I asked her a lot of questions to challenge the notion that perhaps her idea of satan could be incorrect if there was a God and if the Bible were correct. She was able to say she has a lot of fear to believe in God and what it would mean for her.

Just an hour later, I had Bible study with her cabin, in which we talked about prayer and I had different activities for them to do, so they could learn that they can pray in many different ways. She was not looking forward to it but she ended up really working on it. One was to draw a picture of how they feel, how their heart, what are their fears, their desires and so forth. Her picture was many black with a cross and question marks. She then asked me what color would represent hope. I told her perhaps yellow and then in the middle of her page she put a yellow dot. Yeah God!

Today she talked with one of my co-workers about if God is all powerful why then are there bad things in the world and why did He allow them to happen to her. She also asked what she would have to do to accept Christ as her Savior but she is not ready to do such. She was saddened when she found out that just like everything else in life; a relationship with Christ is also a process. She wants a quick fix to her bad dreams, hurt and everything else, so she walks away still unwilling to change. However with a little more information, a little more glimpse of what could be. I just pray for the day when she believes that God exists and that she wants Him as her Savior. What a day that will be!