All In a Week's Work

This has been a busy and hard week, yet a great week all in one. I’m still recovering from being sick; had strep throat, then a 24 hour stomach bug, flu and now I have bronchitis all since last Tuesday. Thankfully I have felt better this week and was able to have 4 individuals (counseling sessions), 2 initial interviews, 4 or 5 therapeutic tallers (workshops), and 3 Bible studies all in 4 days. I’m just worn out thinking about it all.

This week’s Bible studies went for the most part well. In Rut, I taught over the Lord’s Prayer and what is prayer. In Ester, I taught over the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ. Unfortunately, this was a day in which my girls would not pay attention for nothing. In Debora, I taught over heaven and hell and that lesson actually went so much better than I thought and the girls paid so much attention. I was so thankful.

My individuals were pretty good. Yesterday, I met with the girl I wrote about in my last blog post God’s Answers to see where she is at and to try to go deeper. It was a great conversation. We were able to talk through her issues with authority figures and feeling that she has to have all the power and control. We got down to the heart of the issue of how her biological father didn’t want her and her father now is so standoffish that she can’t win his love so why would she want a third father (being God). She can’t even imagine dealing with such pain if God turned out like her two earthly fathers.

I left her with a homework assignment, in which I hope to review with her on Monday. She is to list all the pros and cons to what her life right now, her future and her eternal life would be like if she takes the steps to release some control to trust God and have a relationship with Him and what if she decides to never trust Him as her Savior.

Today, I had an initial interview with a girl, 14 years old, who has been here for about two weeks. In these interviews I learn what they know and how the feel about God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit and the devil; along with what are their beliefs, who helped form them, what do they want to learn, what type of satanic involvement they might have or still have and so forth.

While talking with my girl, she began to tell me that when she was 12 she was part of the satanic church. She participated in rituals almost nightly in where she and many others would use drugs and then start calling out the devil and his demons. They would sacrifice animals, cut themselves, and make pacts with the devil in which they offered their blood, their souls, their lives, and their mind to him in change for something. Usually the “something” was to get more drugs or that bad things would come to those they hated. She spent a year in this and the last time she saw a demon or something like it was at the beginning of this month right before she came to Renacer.

Please be in prayer for these two girls. They need Jesus and they need to know and experience His power. (The latter one is not a Christian but believes she has a relationship with God.) Pray for me to have the Spirit’s wisdom in how to work with these girls. Pray for the strong spiritual war that I am faced with every day as I try to lead them closer and closer to Christ.

God's Answers

Today has been a day of frustrations but of many praises as well. Over the past week I have been feeling very inadequate and frustrated with my Spanish, writing lessons and teaching lessons. It’s been overwhelming. So as I struggle through my overwhelming of inadequacy and learn to depend on God (which has been my prayer this last week to see my need of dependence on Him) I have been blessed to have two co-workers who are so encouraging.

Not only that, today we got to see several prayer requests answered in God’s perfect timing. Today, as most mornings, Tiffany, Rachel and I prayed over the requests of the girls, Renacer and our own. We have been praying for over a month for Sylvia, a missionary from Mexico who has been working here with the girls since 2002, and her paperwork for residency. She was very fearful that she would have to leave next week because of many problems with paperwork. Praise God that as of this week her paperwork is here and she is now in active process of residency and does not have to leave the country!

Yesterday I asked my boss when I could start doing the individuals and I felt as if she was reluctant. She didn’t say no yet didn’t really say yes. I did however take it as a go ahead. We prayed for whatever reservations my boss may have over me doing the individuals and that they would be dissolved. The not even half an hour later, she asked me to do an individual with our most advanced girl who is about ready to go back home. She is very closed off and has a lot of hurts. I was a little concerned that I would have to spend an hour and half with her because it’s hard to get her to talk and be honest for that long.

Oh but God is always amazing! He provided the words and the conversation. Oh she has hurts and a lot of fears about letting Christ come into her heart. Her biggest fear is His authority because the authorities in her life have always hurt her, abused her or used their authority over her. She does have a tender heart and she does want to know things but the actual decision is scary and she is not at a point in which she is ready to make that. She knows all the steps and has heard about Christ for a year and half but now it’s up to her. Pray for her that her heart may be softened to Him and His calling and that she will understand that He does truly love her and wants to give her abundant life.

This morning we also prayed that I would be able to understand one of our new girls in the initial interview today. She mumbles her words and I find it so hard to understand her, which is a must to be able to write up a report and a treatment plan. Praise God that for the majority I was able to understand her.

I love that even in the midst of frustrations and feelings of inadequacy that He will still answer prayers when we seek Him even in the midst of learning how to fully depend on Him.

Pulling Teeth

I forgot just how hard teaching Rut (1st phase) is! Besides the last two weeks of January I haven’t taught Rut for six months. (I was gone for three and then we didn’t have anyone in Rut when I got back until January.) I only had one girl for the two weeks and she loves talking and sharing which makes things so much easier and more fun.

When I returned to work this week, I had two new girls in Rut and I taught them twice on Monday, Bible study and a therapeutic workshop over our philosophy. Oh if it wasn’t for my one girl who likes to talk I think I would have cried. I thought to myself, “How did I do this before?” I have had groups of 5 girls all staring at me as if I was an alien and somehow I made it through and got through to them. I just don’t remember how.

I know part of it is I’m just rusty and have to get back into my first phase groove and most importantly to be even more in prayer for these times with the girls. My boss has liked how I have handled the group before so there’s something in me that can do it. I just hope it shows up before Monday.

Today I did get to spend some time with them after lunch during our free time and was able to get to know them some more and it’s only day 2 for me and I’ll have some more chances to get to hang out with them this week. Please pray for me as I learn how to get through to them; as I learn what excites them; as I teach them about Jesus’ amazing love for them; and as I build the relationship with them. Also pray that the Lord will give me strength, patience and endurance as I teach especially if they just sit there and stare at me and while I get back into the groove. Thanks so much for your prayers. They do make a difference!

The Doors Lesson

Granada, Nicaragua is a beautiful colonial Spanish town whose streets are lined with brightly painted walls and doors that open to invite you to relax in the flowering courtyards, homes of families, and unexpected surprises. Every time I am in Granada I’m always taken back by the beauty of the doors, by the intrigue they arouse in me, by their stories and by their secrets.

Few of these doors are Pristine with their elegant craftsmanship, smooth surface and beautifully stained wood. The rest, fall into two categories; Weathered and Abandoned. The Weathered doors are still beautiful and have a lot of character. Their paint is slightly worn at the bottom where one might place their feet to hold it open while their arms are full of their hard day’s work. They have a wonderment to them that makes one want to study it a little further. To see the life it has lived and hear the stories that it guards.

Yet, these were not the doors I fell in love with. No, I fell in love with the Abandoned. The ones whose wood was splintered from top to bottom; ones displaying their many layers of paint; ones with rusted iron ornate gates that once were their glory; ones with missing pieces that gives you a whisper of what once was; ones with locks that now have rusted. The beauty of these doors made me stop and stare as I studied their every splinter. As I tried to fall asleep, the last night in Granada, I couldn’t get these Abandoned doors out of my mind.

Then God taught me something amazing. These doors are like our hearts. The Pristine don’t appear to need anything at all. They are just beautiful yet I wasn’t very intrigued by them. This is my heart when I try to come before The Healer of Broken Hearts, with all my ducks in a row and try to hide any of the hurt that may be holding itself three or four inches within. This is my heart when I think I don’t need or want His help. With the Pristine, The Healer can’t do anything because the heart believes it is Pristine.

The Weathered need some touch-ups but are still functioning. This is my heart when I know I am in need of help but I allow my pride say “well I’m still functioning so I’ll just keep on doing, besides I don’t have time to deal with it all.” It’s my heart when I half-heartedly come before the Healer of Broken Hearts and allow Him to deal with the superficial and then go about my day. This is my heart when I know I need His help but I’m scared to take it and so I just ignore Him, all the while becoming more and more weathered. With Weathered, The Healer can only mend the outward symptoms because the heart believes it can Weather the rest alone with an occasional Healer visit.

Then there’s Abandoned. The name says it all. It looks like it is of no use and should just be discarded and replaced. One may not even notice it when they walk by yet The Healer of Broken Hearts notices Abandoned. This is my heart when I decide to take down all the false pretenses and bare all my wounds and aches to The Healer. I even bare the parts that I have tried to protect with barbed wire. I become real and tell The Healer that I’m afraid to let Him work in those protected areas but I ask Him to help undo the barbed wire. I cry out to Him through the splinter wood that show what once was and now what’s left. I show Him the holes that are left and I feel vulnerable and at times hopeless. With Abandoned, The Healer is able to restore and transform what appears hopeless into an awe inspiring masterpiece.

Abandoned had a little hole in her left bottom corner that consumed my thoughts. All night I wondered what secret would be exposed if one just took the time to get on their knees and look.

I went back to Abandoned to take a picture of its secret. I expected it would be darkness or the skeleton of what once was. I was joyfully surprised. At first your eyes saw the darkness of loneliness hurts and fears that fills the mysterious room. A little deeper in, there awoke a beautiful field full of sunlight and blue sky that whispers of the budding Hope deep within. The Hope, that only The Healer of Broken Hearts could bring. Abandoned, in all her vulnerability, gives The Healer the hopeful field for Him to build His most beautiful masterpiece for He will never leaver her Abandoned.

Perhaps Abandoned may never look like Pristine but she would never trade in her dancing colors of paint through the seas of splinters, barbed wire and rust that are tender reminders of The Healer’s work as He cultivates the rich Hope filled soil that awakes in the depth of her heart.