Time Again

Well it's that time again, mandatory visa renewal vacation to Nicargaua. Wow how 90 days flew right by! Please be in prayer for our safety as we travel today. We leave today, Saturday, at noon and should be in Granada, Nicaragua by 8pm and we leave on Tuesday at 2pm and should be home around 10pm.

Please pray not only for safety but for my Restless Leg Syndrom, which can make traveling very painful. Thankfully God has helped it stay away while on my Nicaragua trips. Also pray for my time with God this week. I love using these trips as a personal retreat and God is doing a lot in me and I pray for the time to just focus on Him. This time I have 3 other people with me so I will have to be more intentional with my time with Him. thanks for your prayers.

Getting Hands Dirty

Work has been crazy and busy. This week, I finally had my full team back, the first time in two weeks, which made my teaching load back to normal. I am also beginning to feel the impact of being the department supervisor. I must admit it’s very strange to tell people what to do and then have them tell me that they have been told to answer to me. Not sure if I like it yet.

With it come some big responsibilities. Every Monday I attend a 2 ½ hour meeting, reviewing the girls who are up to advance to the next phase, discuss the girls’ requests (usually asking if so and so can come to visitation), and also the home passes for the girls who are about to complete the program.

I love getting to finally know the details of their lives and how I can better serve them and pray for them. I know their lives were tough, have read some of their stories and talked with them personally but to hear the family side excites me (yet sadden me of course.) It excites me because I feel like I’m back in my social worker days that I do miss from time to time but glad that my focus is just the girl.

I have had some awesome individuals with 3girls who will graduate in a short 3 weeks. I can almost cry. There’s a lot of work to be done with several of the girls. They have a lot of doubts if God really loves them or if they are forgiven. They base their whole worth on their performance (sounds familiar) and believe that God will throw them in hell just because they didn’t do things right or perfect, even if they have accepted Jesus as their Savior.

There’s a lot of work and sadly I have only a few weeks to chat with them but thankfully God has the whole rest of their lives. I’m so relieved that He does all the hard work and He’s the One who is responsible for the transformation. I’m just responsible to be the planter and sower and once in a while I get to be a part of the harvest. I love that God lets me join Him in His "getting hands dirty in the lives of troubled girls work."

Community!

One of the things that I have greatly missed since I graduated language school is community. I am blessed to have community among my amazing LifePoint Church of Ozark, MO family. I was also blessed to have a great group of friends while in language school. Yet since that time, almost 2 years ago, I have not found my place.

I must admit it has been lonely. I was attending a small church that has amazing people but only a couple in my age group and stage of life, with whom I never got to hang out. I liked the church and enjoyed being on the praise team but felt like it was time to start looking for a community.

I was very nervous about trying to find another church. Thankfully my friend Ali was also looking for a new church, so we went together. We decided to go to Vida Abundante del Este, where I actually went on my very first Sunday in Costa Rica. That Sunday was actually their very first Sunday as a church plant of Vida Abundante de Coronado, a huge church of something like 5000. (They have several plants throughout the San Jose area.) It was fun to go back 2 ½ years later to see how God has grown them, a new building and a growing body. I’m not good with numbers but between the two services I would guess give or take about a 1000 people.

We decided to try out their “young adult group,” ages 18-39. I had a lot of fear that it would be all very young 20’s (me being 31) but we both were very surprised that most are mid to late 20’s and a few early 30’s. We went out with them after the group and enjoyed every moment. In fact we both had not laughed that hard for a very long time. We have been hanging out with them ever since.

For now we both feel like this church where we want to be. There are some things that we are watching to see how they handle. (The pastor resigned on the second Sunday we were there due to “moral sin”.) Yet so far it has been handled very biblical and the church has a plan and appears to be healthy. We both feel like we are being fed and are finding a place we belong.

I am also blessed to have the new friendship in Ali. We met at the beginning of February and have been hanging out since. I also continue to grow my friendship with my sweet and dear friend Kathy, who constantly points me to Christ even in the midst of struggle. Kathy and I have been friends for almost 3 years. I love her and wouldn’t know what to do without her.

Both of these women are true answers to prayers and I’m so blessed that God has put women in my path that I share this messy life with authentically and not have to hide under the cover of being a “missionary.” We, too, are just other Christ-followers trying to live this life to the glory of God which means we are grace covered sinners who need Jesus every moment for every breath. I love that they are honest about this and I have really seen how iron sharpens iron through the authenticity of these friendships. Thanks to Jesus that He has brought me community in which I have been longing for.

Pictures: The first picture is from the very first night we went out with the young adult group. This is only a third of the group that took up Subway that night (from 9:30pm to midnight!). Ali is the blonde across from me (eyes closed) and the girl in front of me is my roommate Stephanie that is here only for 3 months from Canada. The second picture is a picture of me and Ali from a 2 day beach trip we made to Playa Hermosa. We had only met the week before and we’re still friends! The third picture is from a while back but of me and Kathy.

Follow-up Appointment

I am usually a good patient. I always take my all my medicine and I follow orders pretty well. However, I usually never follow through on the follow-up visits. I don’t like to pay money for the doctor to tell me I’m all better, which I already knew. Yet, I figured since I was in the hospital for three days I would go to my follow-up visit that was on Friday.

I did find out some more precise information and the results of my 24 hour heart monitor called the “holter”. In regards to my neck, I have lost the curvature in my neck, never good. I asked if it could be found in “Lost&Found” but to no luck. I also have bone spurs in my neck all pointing to deterioration; which my doctor is really surprised due to my age. There’s really nothing I can do about it. I will just one day be in a lot of pain. Oh yippy.

In regards to the esophagitis, it’s a grade A, which means it’s the least sever. In two weeks, I will get off one medicine completely and begin to eat real food again! I will also cut the other medicine in half for 4 months. While being more aware of what foods affect me I can reduce the need for any more meds and treatments. Yeah!

The results of the “holter” showed that I have a very slight arrhythmia (the stopping and starting of the heart.) My doctor is not the least bit concerned. He said for me to need treatment, I would need to have 10 episodes an hour. I had 27 in 24 hours. It’s just something for me to be aware of and if I feel like my palpitations are getting worse and a heck a lot more frequent then I need to check with the doctor.

The results also showed that my lowest heart rate was 41. I thought this to be a little strange so I asked him if that was okay. He told me that it says to him that I am an athlete because only athletes can usually have such a low heart rate while sleeping. Sweet! I never thought of myself as an athlete but heck…I’m in athletic condition! Yeah. Ha.

Thanks again for all your prayers and support. God has been faithful to provide good medical care, good insurance (once the fee was paid), lots of prayers and even providing financially through some of you. Thank you.

Lessons and More Lessons

I feel like I have been writing lesson after lesson; perhaps that’s because I have been. Two people writing almost 60 lessons take forever. Then you have the trial and error process, the revising, the taking out, the adding in and trying to make it creative and functional for all needs. (We have some girls who can’t read or write.) Then after all that, one day we will have all the Spanish corrected on both the student and teacher forms.

I feel like after writing about 20, I have found my grove. I was trying to take the easy way out; write up the forms and then add in the teaching. Although this has worked, I haven’t liked it nor enjoyed it. Monday, I finally decided to do it as I normally would. Journal through it, apply it to myself, write it all out and then make the forms. I enjoyed it so much and it’s nice to have the personal application part in my own life.

I guess part of it has been me thinking, I already know Jesus and about sin and what not so I don’t need to apply nor journal about these things. What a lie from satan, himself! I for sure need to apply these things and allow God to stretch me and see where my actions and my words don’t add up. For example: I believe God is all powerful yet I don’t give Him certain areas of my life because I’m afraid to trust Him in it. Therefore my actions and thoughts don’t match those of my mouth. I want to be breathing in and out what I am teaching these girls. So I will be doing a lot of re-writing (that was already needed) and doing a lot more applying.

I give the girls an Applicación de Vida (A Life Application) at the end of their worksheet as homework; which has a few questions to get them thinking. Too funny how I can just easily by pass that up and think I got it all together.

Monday, as I wrote about our priorities and using the story of Mary and Martha en Luke 10:38-42, I was so challenged on how I do things. Do I do things out of my performance based concept of God or out of my love relationship with God? Do I do things for Him or do I let Him work through me? I pray the latter ones of each.

This week has been interesting as I am teaching all 4 cabins. Tuesday, I taught Cabaña Rut the Birth of Jesus. We had a lot of fun. For their craft, we made a poster of the stable scene but we used lions as Jesus, Joseph and Mary, camels for the 3 Wiseman, and goats turned into sheep (by cutting of their goatees and horns) for the shepherds. It was really cute.

I also taught the lesson on Our Priorities to Cabaña Ester. Unfortunately this cabaña tends to be harder because of the group of girls who are in there right now. Two really want to learn, one has a tiny bit of desire to learn and the other two just don’t care at all. This makes teaching hard because the ones who don’t want to learn, are causing many distractions and the lesson just doesn’t tend to go well. I was very excited about this lesson, but have to trust that God has it all in His control.

Today, I taught Débora and tomorrow I will teach Tamara, How to Study the Bible. I enjoy this lesson as it’s a hands on lesson and applying simple, but wonderful, questions when reading the Word. I had 13 girls in class which always makes it crazy and I have a wide variety of levels of learning abilities. However, I felt it went well for the most part. Tomorrow I can work out the kinks of today’s.

False Water

“Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:4-5

I have a new tradition of buying flowers once a week or so to fill up the vases throughout my house. There is just something refreshing and soul lifting to walk into a house with fresh flowers. It warms my soul. However, I have to continue to buy flowers because they continue to die. Even with careful tending to the water and cutting the stems, they still die. Not just the flower itself, but if I were to leave them there in the vases the leaves and stems would all dry up and become dust.

I can’t get that picture out of my mind, the one you see here in my blog, shows what once were radiant lilies just a week ago are now curling up to die. The last moments of existence. I did all I could do to take care of them. I did all I could do to enjoy them, but it just wasn’t enough. But isn’t this how we spend so much of our time? Dying in not enough.

We are the branches and Jesus Christ is the Vine. We are connected to Him. When we are in Him we live, we breathe, we last, we constantly grow, we bear fruit, we are free to dance, we have enough, and we are living. He provides us all the nutritional value we need; “I AM the Bread of Life”. He is our water; “All who come to me will never be thirsty again”. When we are connected to Him, we are transformed by His water, by His life and by His word. Why would we give that, “the enough”, up?

Yet, I find myself giving “the enough” up over and over for the “not enough” or false water; the false water in the vase. I sever myself from Christ and say “I can do this on my own.” I settle for false fulfillments of my identity, false praises, desires filled by a false and short lasting happiness. All so I can be fulfilled for a moment. Sometimes, I know I am settling for the false water and at other times I’m not aware of it until the curling up, ready to die phase sets in.

I sever myself from the nutritional water of Christ and settle for the stale, lifeless water in a vase. I’m unable to move. I look like I am growing; my new blooms open, I fill the house with a light fragrance, I make people smile, yet all the while I am slowly dying; slowly losing the life within me with every false fulfillment of needs or desires.

“Apart from ME you can do NOTHING.” I can’t grow when I’m apart from Christ. I can’t live apart from Christ, even if I can fake it for awhile. Eventually, I die. So I allow that part in me to die and allow the Gardener, God, to prune me and to cut off any branches that may harm me. I ask Him to prune me so that I will remain in Him, drinking up and being transformed by the living water that flows so gently and continually through the Vine and into the branches. I want to bear lasting fruit for Christ but not on my accord. I am trading in my false and stale water for the living water. I am trading in my temporary vase for my permanent place in the Vine.

“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5

Strangely Normal

As I quickly approach the 3 year mark of living in Costa Rica, which is unbelievable, I stopped and chuckled the other day at how many things that were once strange are now no less than normal.

On trash days, for me Wednesday and Saturdays, you can find many people digging through the trash of another to find anything salvageable or worth selling. These people are not usually homeless, just people looking for a find.

Then there are the delivery trucks. Just the other day the Coke truck pulled up to the pulperia by my house and it had a motorcycle escort of one security guy with his bulletproof vest and his gun as he stood guard for the guys to make their delivery. This is how it is with all the delivery trucks.

Then there are the homeless guys who are sleeping on the sidewalk and we just walk by. That still gets to me but it’s now a normal thing.

Then there is picking fruit off the tree as you walk to wherever you’re going. Mangos, lemons, oranges, bananas, you name it. I have yet to pick a banana off the tree as they always tend to be behind someone’s gate. I do have two orange trees in my yard that are just about ready for picking!

Then there are the critters, inside and outside of the house. Ants, cockroaches, flies, fruit flies, spiders (thankfully no tarantulas although they are all around and are huge!), and lizards, especially geckos. Every house has a gecko and it just chirps away sounding more like a bird than some 4 legged crawly thing. The other night, Pedro Jr. (the gecko) came out and decided he liked watching The Big Bang Theory with me. He on the floor and I on the couch. I looked at him, smiled, said hi and turned back to my show with no reaction of thinking “there’s a gecko on my living room floor”. Pedro Jr. hung out for awhile before going over to the window and I forgot all about him. It’s just normal.

And the Doctor's Say...

Yes, I’m out of the hospital, they released me late last Friday night. So after three days on the cardiac floor, 2 CAT examines, heart sonogram, heart stress test, 4 EKG’s, multiple blood draws, endoscopy, a 24 hour heart monitor and consultations with the neurologist, cardiologist and gastrologist they came to a conclusion.

I have esophagitis with a little hernia at the union of my stomach and esophagus which is preventing the stomach from closing all the way and allowing acid to go up into my esophagus. I have meds for 3months and a very strict diet to follow for a month. They also found that the cartilage around my ribs on the left side is inflamed, causing more discomfort. Unrelated to the pain they found out that my C2-C7 vertebrates (all the ones in my neck) are showing early beginning signs of deterioration and arthritis. The numbing, the neurologist believes is a physical response from stress. I go back to my doctor next Friday for a follow up.

Thank you to everyone for all your prayers. Thank you. The good thing also is that now I have paid my $1000 insurance deductible and so they covered 100% of the rest! Praise God! And God has provided me for me half of the deductible through a gracious donor. Praise God. He’s awesome. Thanks again for your prayers!